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Dear Wowhead... (Episode 8)
Long time no see, dear readers! Please forgive my absence at the writing desk, for I have been separated from my mailbox! Let us all dearly hope that no such inconvenience strikes us again.
Today we have a letter from a confused young man in Stormwind City. Shall we?
Dear Wowhead,
I am yet another addict, seeking your help - for the sake of both me and my beautiful wife, Elaine. I am a huge fan of your "Dear Wowhead" section, and have recently gathered my courage to write to you, seeing that you have already helped people like me -
Black Rosee
and
Feling
, being two examples.
It is more than embarrassing to say, but I am addicted to...cheese.
Yes, cheese, is that a problem?!
...I am sorry for my temper, but it took me almost quarter of an hour to compose this part of the letter, and that has been a painful cheese-less quarter of an hour. As I was, saying, I am addicted to cheese.
达纳苏斯奶酪
,
达拉然奶酪
,
洋葱奶酪
,
矮人奶酪
,
暴风城奶酪
,
陈年干酪
,
奥特兰克冷酪
, and even the exotic alien
加拉达尔奶酪
, which I hea
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Dear Wowhead... (Episode 7)
Welcome back, dear readers! My sincere thanks for the flood of letters I received this week. I'm looking forward to answering as many as I can!
Dear Wowhead,
My father lost his job and we moved to Kharanos in Dun Morogh where he found a job as an engineer. Normally this is a good thing, but I'm a human and all the Dwarves and Gnomes live there. I also have to go to a previously all dwarf and gnome private school so I can take classes in engineering.
I always get picked on in class, the gnomes keep calling me tall and the dwarves always call me sober. The lunches there are disgusting, they serve Darkmoon Special Reserve Surprise Monday - Thursday, and we have Mechanical Squirrel Soup Fridays. I just can't fit in at this school. I need your help!!!!
Signed,
Lonely in Kharanos
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Dear Wowhead... Delayed!
Welcome back, dear readers! It seems as though you're going to have to go without your fix today...for what should I find when I sat down at my writing desk, but...an empty mailbox?
That's right, I haven't received any letters for a full two weeks! How do I offer advice if no one asks for it? How can I provied the beautiful gift of my wisdom and discretion to the world, without letters to answer? The way things have been going, you'd think I was a nosy busybody who's always getting involved in other peoples' business!
If you would like to see your letter featured on Dear Wowhead, simply send a note to feedback@wowhead.com with "Dear Wowhead" in the subject, and your question may be chosen for the column. If there are enough letters, I may be able to answer two a week!
Please do NOT ask your questions in the comments. What fun is it if everyone gets to read them early?
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Dear Wowhead... (Episode 6)
Welcome back, dear readers! Today we have a letter from a dear friend of mine out in the Crossroads—the names have been changed to protect the people involved!
Dear Wowhead,
Lately, I have been having urges.... strong urges. When did I start getting these urges? A couple days ago my friends were hanging around
Felicia Gump
, who is the main supplier of Herbs in
Stormwind City
. What I noticed that was strange about my friends was that they had bought some
黑玫瑰
s, and they were offering it to me. Always being a team player, I tried it.
Now, I am addicted. I can't stop. I try to stop, and I just end up doing something drastic or unpleasant. I found out yesterday that in my rage to get more, I had beaten my
wife
!! Please, help me. I am a wreck... I need help! What do I do? HELP!!!
Signed,
Black Roseee
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Dear Wowhead... (Episode 5)
Welcome back, dear friends! Today we have a letter from one of my colleagues in Silvermoon City. Perhaps we can help our mutual friend here with a problem of a...personal nature. Read on!
Dear Wowhead,
My name is Emeline Foxfire, and I'm an initiate of the Blood Knights here in Silvermoon. Me and my husband, Colin, have been Initiates together for what seems like forever! He's my everything, and I don't know what I'd do without him. Many are the days I fondly remember training with him. We'd tap mana crystals together, and then – my favorite – we'd
the energy from some unsuspecting fool. Those were the days!
The trouble is, ever since those crazy adventurers infiltrated the Isle of Quel'danas, and the Sunwell was restored, well...my husband isn't interested in
ing anymore. Oh sure, we'll have the occasional
奥术洪流
, but without the
, it's just not the same! It's like he just wants to get it over with as fast as possible – he doesn't take his
time
anymore.
I don't know what to do, Malgayne! I'm at my wit's end. What do you recommend?
Sincerely,
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Dear Wowhead... (Episode 4)
Kindly forgive my lateness this week, dear readers! An unavoidable change of plans saw me making a quick flight back to Silvermoon City, many miles away from my usual writing desk here at the Legerdemain Lounge. Perhaps I'm in need of a letter to Miss Manners myself!
In any case, I have returned, and today I have a letter that comes to us postmarked from the Eastvale Logging Camp. Here goes:
Dear Wowhead,
I am a human paladin speaking for – believe it or not – a murloc from Elwynn Forest. While walking along one day, helping a young adventurer, I realized a murloc was talking to me! Anyway, on to the story. He says that his egg-mate recently left to go to another village, and he is heart-broken. He won't take my advice, but maybe he'll take yours.
Sincerely,
Bigghammer and a Murloc
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Dear Wowhead... (Episode 3)
The Wowhead advice column returns this week with a letter that comes to us from Tinker Town!
Dear Wowhead.
For generations my family has been some of Gnomeregan's finest engineers, inventors and demolitions experts. My Great-grandfather was the inventor of the indispensable Polyphonic Sub-Range Anaylyzer! I know right?!
But lately, my thoughts have wandered from electro-spanners and thorium plated thermal adjusters. I have desires... DARK desires. Why, just the other day I was in my father's work shop helping him reconfigure the micro-cog agitator matrix of his spectral reinstantiator when I started thinking how great it would be if I could "summon" forth some worker to walk in from the void and do the work for me.
Aren't Gnomes supposed to be engineers? All this fanciful arcane fascination with fallen magics is wrong isn't it?
Sincerely,
FELing Confused
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Dear Wowhead... (Episode 2)
Welcome back to the Wowhead advice column!
Our next question comes to us from the smoky halls of Ironforge! Looks like our friend here is having some romantic troubles...I've included a translation from the original Dwarfish, for those who don't speak the language.
Dear Wowhead,
Ah howz does Ah put dis? Ah am a middle aged Dwarf. Ahms purty typical fer me race. Ah lufs anyting wif a blunt head on nit. Ah lufs to dig up minerals uf all kinds. Ah has tha obligatury riding ram (thumpur), Anz ah likes ta smush up anyz kinz of orc, trollz and udder hordz type beinz. But ta udder weeks whilst clearing outs tha
Nexus
wit me budz. Ah fellz smitten in lufs wits a bloodelfs lass named
Grand Magus Telestra
. Now ins ah knows dis is a bad ting. Fer mah mates hast toldz me dat day wuldz not be a putting ups wit me companys agin if-in ah didz pursue dis line of me tinkin. Howz canz dis be? Ah knowz ahm a dwarfs anz dis is unaturals, Butz ah kentz heps it. Shez jus luuks so durned cutes in dat liddle red winters hats! Itz wuz luf et furst sights. Wuldz be wrongz fer mah ta sayz ta hecks wi
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Dear Wowhead... (Episode 1)
That's right, boys and girls! Welcome to "Dear Wowhead", the advice column for Wowhead users!
If all goes well we should be able to make this a regular column.
Our first letter comes to us directly from the Rogue's Quarter, deep underneath Lordaeron!
Dear Wowhead,
I'm a member of the Forsaken. I live in the southeastern quarter of the Undercity, in a small alcove with six other dead people. Unfortunately, on the day that Undertaker Mordo recovered me from my grave, I was the only one raised. My family wasn't raised with me.
This Winter Veil will be the first time I've ever celebrated the holiday alone. How do you cope with loneliness? How can I honor my family background, without living in the past?
Sincerely,
Lonely For The Holidays
1
